experiences

Paper Underwear Is Never a Good Idea

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Traveling in Asia has enabled me to enjoy some of the most decadent and luxurious spa experiences ever. Also some of the funniest, at least after the fact.

There was the time in Singapore I had my first skinny dipping experience because the therapist was late arriving. And the time I had a panic attack because I left the oil from my “Chocolate Experience Massage” in Bali on too long and became over-caffeinated. (I’m often my own best source of amusement.) 

But the stories that still make me laugh the most have to do with underwear provided by the spa.

One Size Does Fit All, But Becomes Rather Pointless

One of my first memories of a spa treatment in Thailand was my introduction to the mesh underwear the spa supplied. Cut like a very full brief, the one-size-fits-all item seemed very modest. Until I put them all. Mesh stretches, so they fit. But as they stretched, they became rather transparent. I’m certainly larger than the usual Thai customer, so wearing them was more a nod to being modest than actually concealing anything. My 6’5″ boyfriend at the time reported his were basically sheer.

Beware Paper Underwear

If it’s not mesh, than the common undergarment supplied by the spa will probably be made of paper and they tend to run small. Very small. I’ll never forget getting ready for a couple’s massage one time…I was in my corner putting on my robe when I heard a ripping noise. Followed by profanity.

I turned around to see my boyfriend sporting bands of elastic around his waist and legs and a little paper privacy pouch. While attempting to don the underwear which was about 3 sizes too small, the paper had torn. Completely.

Fully sympathizing with his plight, but choking back giggles that would come in spite of myself, I went out in search of the attendants to get a replacement pair.

Once outside the room the hilarity of the situation and memory of the ripping noise was too much for me and I could barely gasp out my request when I found someone. Once I had made them understand what happened, they too were suppressing laughs as we tried to figure out what to do. They finally came back and told me he should wear his own — they had no larger sizes. Not a relaxing start to the massage, but oh what a story after the fact!

Have you had any humorous experiences during a spa visit?

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2 Comments

  1. Kurt

    April 9, 2014 at 10:48 pm

    Same experience in Bali during a couples massage…I’m 6’1 and was given some black mesh underwear that were made to fit a 10 year old. Needless to say, they ripped as soon as I tried to put them on. Ended up just wearing my bathing suit. My wife got a good laugh out of the whole situation though.

  2. Erica

    April 10, 2014 at 6:17 am

    Ugh… Those mesh undies are the worst (although I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting the paper ones…)

    Let’s just say I felt closer to my massage therapist in Bali than I really wanted to…

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